Recently, someone sprayed pepper spray in my eyes. But, hey, it was the middle of the night, on a deserted street, and I was wearing a hoodie and a cap.
Then she said,
"Hey! dude, I’m really sorry. I thought you were a mugger, you know how it is, right?"
"Yeah... yeah, I get it."
"But, like… are you okay? You’re not, like, screaming or anything."
"Well… I’m fine enough not to scream, I guess."
"Huh… I feel really bad. I could’ve… I don’t know… done something worse."
"Like what?"
"Who knows… maybe punched you in the face… or, like… stabbed you."
"Oh… right. That would’ve been more elegant than pepper spray."
"Yeah? Haha. No, but seriously, I’m really sorry. I… you know…"
"Yeah… I’ve always wanted to look like a mugger at 2 a.m."
"Hahaha…"
"Hahaha…"
"But… you’re not mad?"
"Nah. At least it wasn’t a stab, right?"
"Hahaha…"
"Hahaha…"
…
"Why’d you just stand there instead of running?"
"I dunno… I guess I wanted to see you cry."
"Wow… okay."
"Haha… sorry."
"It’s fine… honestly, kinda funny."
"Eh… look on the bright side… at least your hoodie’s nice."
"True… I got it at Megasuperclothes2000. Best store ever."
"Haha… of course. New hoodie, pepper spray… BOOOM! Full package of urban civility."
"Exactly. If you’re gonna mug someone, at least do it in style."
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